How do I make a bulletproof New Year's resolution?
We want to always ask, WHY DO I WANT THIS?
It’s that time of year where we’re dreaming of what could be. I’m a firm believer in creating our own reality and future by investing and sowing into the now. The beginning of a new year is a great time to reflect on the past, celebrate its successes, learn from its failures and mistakes, and look forward to a more meaningful and purposeful future. Here are some mindset steps to consider:
Ask yourself 3 questions
Why do I want this?
The "why" behind your New Year's creation really matters. It’s the fuel that will drive you when the excitement and motivation are gone. It’s the reason you’ll get up rain or shine to put in the work to create your desired outcome. Take a moment to envision this new reality where your goals are achieved. How would your life be better? Why do you believe your life would improve?
Your goals have to align with your deepest core values
Does this align with my values?
This is where most people get it wrong. We often choose goals that seem to mimic what society or what other people perceive as important without taking a moment to question if it is what we REALLY want. As human beings, it’s in our nature to live within the framework of who we are and what we value. In other words, healthy people value congruency. No matter how much I want something, I will not choose against my core values such as integrity, honesty, and authenticity to achieve my goals. If my goals make me less of who I want to become, then I know it’s not the right goal. That means those goals come at too great a cost. If it inspires me to be better, then I know I’m heading in the right direction. Take the time to identify and even verbalize the actual value that is represented in this New Year's resolution. This can help you see how much of a priority that value expressed is to you this year.
What are the obstacles in my way?
Sometimes, wanting something is not enough. We have to be able to identify what has kept us from the goals we want in the past. Is it losing a few pounds? Maybe getting that promotion or starting a new side business? If we’re able to clearly identify the obstacles in our way of reaching our goals, then we can begin to draw a road map for the rest of the year. This is the matter of counting the cost. The reality is that some level of discomfort may be required because change means doing things differently than we have done before. After all, if nothing needed to change, we would already have what we say we want! Are these new year's resolution goals worth the price tag (e.g., finances, time, energy, other sacrifices) to achieve them? We need to want these new realities badly enough in order to volunteer for the discomfort.
I talk about this and a lot more in my best-selling book, “Choose Better: the Optimal Decision-making Framework.” To put it simply, achieving your New Year's resolutions is about choosing better consistently. In our next blog, we’ll delve into the mechanics of goal creation and simple hacks to achieve them.